No good deed goes unpunished...

Food, Glorious Food!

I've always associated the 1^st of May with a holiday. Depending on where you live, you might be celebrating “May Day” or “Labour Day” a.k.a the slightly more socialist sounding “International Workers Day.” For me, the 1^st of May will also be known as the “Fuck Me!, My Hamster Just Gave Birth Day” or just “Labour Day” for short.

Let's start at the beginning. The point when the Universe was created, the Big Bang. I'm kidding of course; you should really check out Cosmos: a spacetime odyssey if you haven't already. It all started with my nieces birthday just over a month ago. She had just turned 2 years old and her mother/my sister who I love and respect (even though sometimes she can be a bit of a numpty) decided to buy a pair of dwarf hamsters for my niece.

Now I wasn't happy with this because having a pet is a big responsibility. And as much my as I love my niece and respect her (even though sometimes she can be a bit of a numpty), I didn't think hamsters were the most appropriate gift for a child that age. And I told my sister that. And as much as she loves me and respects me (even though sometimes I can be a bit of a numpty), she said “Never mind, she'll be okay.”

And sure enough, just slightly over a week later I had the pleasure of adopting the hamsters. And I didn't mind much since I already have two cats and when I was younger I had two mice and a hamster. My niece had named one hamster “Hanna” and since she never got around to naming the second hamster I chose the name “Sparta.”

Because I'm a manly man and a bit of a history geek and not a 2 year old girl I named the hamster after the Greek city-state made up of bare chested warriors (according to the historically accurate movie 300); plus I was quietly hoping that if anyone ever asked me what my hamsters name was I would be able to shout “This is...SPARTA!” (that's a 300 movie reference...)

It's been a while since I had a hamster so to get reacquainted with the responsibilities involved with being a hamster owner I decided to turn to Youtube to look for some guidance. I quickly realized two thing:

1. Based on the amount of videos available, hamsters seem to be a favoured pet of girls. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But next time just to up my manliness credibility I'm thinking of adopting some wolves or maybe a great white shark.
   
   
2. The cage that was provided was clearly too small, especially for a pair of hamsters. I could buy a bigger cage but those cost quite a bit. Or I could go with the less expensive alternative and make a bin cage.

I actually liked making the bin cage. My hamsters have a lot more room to run around in and making the bin cage was also satisfying for me. I don't think I'll ever move to Alaska and build myself a cabin in the woods but at least I can make a bin cage for hamsters. Plus I already have a beard, which is relevant to me for some strange reason.

It's still a work in progress since I'm still waiting for the hamster stuff that I ordered from Amazon.com to arrive e.g. silent spinners, igloos, chew toys etc. And that's all I had to look forward to; the hamsters were not biting my hand as much when I fed them and my cats seemed to really enjoy their company.

But as I already mentioned at the start of this post, on the 1^st of May I opened the bin cage to clean it and I'm staring down at a small pink newborn hamster. And then I found all the other small pink newborn hamsters. About four in total.

Aww..that's so..cute?

Well, I was not prepared for this revelation. This will be the closest feeling I have to a parent who just found out their teenager is pregnant; unless of course I get married, have a child or children (I want to have options) and then have a teenager who tell me that they're pregnant or they got someone pregnant. Remember kids always be safe, “One night stands may be over by mornin' but syphilis lasts a last time”; Robert De Niro said that once in a movie. Which means its true...just like in 300.

Now this was quite a surprise since according to my sister she had two female hamsters. And so in a less than happy mood I called her to “discuss” the current situation. Well, apparently the store kept all their hamsters together and didn't separate them by their gender. So Hanna might have been pregnant when she was bought. Or most likely, the employee didn't really know the difference between a male and female hamster and randomly picked Sparta who is actually a male hamster.

The other least likely scenario is that I had somehow upset this person in the past and he came up with a brilliant plan of getting a job at a pet store and waited for the right time for my sister to walk in and buy a hamster for her daughter. AND THEN he purposely gave my sister a male and female pair, knowing I would end up with the hamsters and I would have to deal with the problem. Touché sir, your plan worked perfectly...

Thankfully, there are a lot of forums and websites giving advice so I sort of know what to do. I still don't know if Sparta is a male or female. It's really hard to figure out the gender of a dwarf hamster. Right now, Sparta is in isolation in her/his own cage until I figure things out. It's not because she/he did anything wrong, Sparta just fits a certain profile and I want to be safe rather than sorry.

The good thing is that Hanna knows what she's doing so as long as I don't stress her too much or accidentally touch the babies, she won't eat them. Yes, apparently that's a thing that hamsters do. I will probably have to make a lot more bin cages and probably look for new homes for them. Or I could just let them out and play with my cats...relax..I'm kidding of course! Anyway, this is a few days late but happy Labour Day everyone...

To the employee at the pet store I have this to say to you:

“I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.”

Again, that's not one of mine. It's another movie reference; Liam Neeson from the film Taken with a few changes made.

Here are some links:

My last post - A slip of the tongue reveals my Oedipus complex?

A quick Tumblr post on the day it happened

I am...a woman

I just want to clarify a few things. I'm not having a existential crisis or trying to come to terms with my gender identity; I'm proud to say that I am still happy to be a man, whatever that means. Get back to me in a couple of years. I recently discovered Duolingo and I'm currently learning German..because you know..it's the language of the future? Maybe I should have picked a different language.

Anyway, I was using Duolingo; in case you are unaware Doulingo is a free language-learning app. And it's pretty easy and fun way to learn a new language, even one as hard as German. The lessons usually involve being presented with individual words and later phrases and translating them from German to English and vice versa. Occasionally, you would have to speak into the microphone on your phone/tablet and translate a sentence.

On this particular occasion I was sitting in my car with the windows down, waiting for someone and I decided that I would brush up on my German. And on one of the lessons I had to translate the phrase “Ich bin eine Frau”; the English translation being “I am a woman.” For some reason my microphone wasn't registering my first and second attempts. So on the third attempt I really went for it and shouted out “I AM A WOMAN!”

The good news is that the microphone did pick up what I had said that time. And so did the man who was walking by the car. What the man thought about this revelation as he looked at me I wouldn't know; he didn't seem too intrigued. If anything he might have walked a little bit faster but that might have been my imagination.

On a totally separate note one on my favourite TV shows, How I Met Your Mother has finally come an end. I don't want to spoil it for you just in case you still haven't seen it yet. All I'll say is that I found the season finale of The Walking Dead to be less depressing than the last two episodes of HIMYM. And then, I got depressed when I realized I had to wait a few months for the new season of TWD and maybe a year or two for the next season of House of Cards.

Last weeks Grey's Anatomy proved to be pretty uneventful. Maybe it's time for the show to end? Over the years I've learned a few things after watching Grey Anatomy:

1. On-call rooms are NOT meant for rest but strictly for sex
2. Re-enacting the Second World War with live ammunition is a really bad idea
3. A lot of bad shit happens to the staff of the Grey Sloan Memorial (formerly Seattle Grace) Hospital

And on last weeks episode I learned two more things:

1. Phones in the future suck

2. Ross should not grow a Goatee and should stick to contacts

P.S. I feel like I have to explain the first photo. Yes it is real and yes it is a photo of me. All I'll say is that I have a older sister. Sometimes she would dress me up in her old clothes and on other occasions apply make-up to my face (those photos shall never see the light of day.) This was back in the early 90's so there wasn't much to do and we got bored easily. Plus I was about 6 years old and children of that age aren't known for using good judgement. Sometimes I like to relive my childhood and dress up in women's clothes.

Some links to check out:

Last post – Some thoughts on the missing Flight MH370

Ramblings of a Pipedreamer Tumblr

Duolingo website

Grey's anatomy on-call room

We're here for the art..

“throwback”

A sudden reminder of the past. This can be brought about by hearing a song from high school, seeing an ex, puffing on a j in your old puffin spot, etc. Similar to a flashback

For some reason I've been thinking about the last time I visited London. It was a pretty memorable trip. I was with my parents and we were there to visit my sister who was living there at the time.

This was some time ago, back when Trafalgar Square still had pigeons (thanks Mayor Ken) and tourists had the pleasure of getting pigeon poop on them after feeding them. It was one of the things tourists did when they were in London; feed pigeons and harass the Queen's guard. At least some things remain the same.

Some highlights from the trip:

• Convincing my Dad to take me on a open top bus tour of London. My Dad enjoyed it so much he ended up falling asleep. We did pass by Trafalgar Square and stopped under a tree full of pigeons. Earned our tourist badge right there.
• My sister took us to an art museum. Because that's what you do....especially when your family has absolutely no interest in modern art. I did almost touch one of the paintings and ruin a security guards day.
• Spending a large some of money at Funland and SegaWorld playing the arcade machines. Money well spent in my opinion. I just found out that Funland no longer exists and that the building is going to be permanently closed TOMORROW to be turned into a hotel :( #cestlavie

The most memorable and excruciatingly painful part of the the trip was when my sister was taking us on a tour of London. This was after the trip to the art museum; we had little to no fun there and we were walking back when it started to rain. And as luck would have it we didn't bring an umbrella.

I can't remember what street we were on but my sister quickly led us into art gallery to get out of the rain. And luckily for us there was a photography exhibition being held there. The first photograph that I laid my eyes on was of a naked pregnant woman lying down in a field.

I was 12 years old at the time and this was the first naked picture I'd ever seen. I was a little embarrassed and diverted my attention to another picture. Which featured the same pregnant woman standing in a courtyard with an elderly man and woman. Nude of course.

Now apparently there is a big debate as to whether photography is art. I don't really care either way, I'll just leave it up to the “experts” to decide. But I will say that I don't think the photos on display that day was art. The photographer it seems, took a trip through Europe and asked a lot of regular people if he could take nude photos of them. And apparently a lot of them said yes.

I didn't know where to look so I just turned around and faced the entrance. Long story short, after a few brief moments we all left and went back out into the pouring rain. And never spoke of what happened again.

Some links to check out:

Last weeks post

London Trocadero

The line between art and photography

Image Credit – Snoopy the art critic

I (don't) Gotta Feeling..

The internet is an amazing place, you never know what you might accidentally come across. It's not all cat porn..I mean..it's not all cat's and porn (I don't even want to know what happens if you do happen to Google “cat porn”; probably the NSA will call the SPCA to drone your house.)

Anyway, what I had come across by accident on Youtube is Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response (ASMR) and according to the Wikipedia ASMR is “ a perceptual phenomenon characterized as a distinct, pleasurable tingling sensation in the head, scalp, back, or peripheral regions of the body in response to visual, auditory, olfactory, and/or cognitive stimuli.” Or as I would put it simply certain things make you “feel stuff” or to put it even more simply you could call it “sound porn”; I just Googled “sound porn” and the results are quite interesting.

And apparently it feels really nice. For some people it helps them relax. Since I'm curious and sceptical by nature (and had nothing better to do), I decided to watch a few of these ASMR videos just to see what this “pleasurable tingling sensation” feels like. And for science of course; plus I thought that my scalp could use a little stimulation.

I found out there are many channels dedicated to ASMR. Most of these videos require you to wear headphones to get the most out of the experience. What are ASMR videos like to watch? Well..somewhat strange would be the best way to put it. There tends to be a lot of whispering and brushing; one of the first videos I watched had a woman touching a microphone (that's not a euphemism.)

I watched the WHOLE 21 minute video and she basically scratched and later brushed the microphone. I didn't get much of a tingling sensation but it did make think “WTF am I watching?” and make me wonder what I was doing with my life. She did have nice fingernails though..

The next video I watched was of a woman whispering into a mic in Italian; I have no idea what she said (she could have been quoting Hannibal Lecter for all I know) but I now realize that the Italian language is really beautiful and I'm going to learn Italian on my Duolingo app as soon as I'm done with my Spanish.

There are many types of ASMR videos; besides trying to induce ASMR by making sounds with various objects, there are also a lot of role-playing videos. For example the person making the video will try to simulate a doctor's appointment; getting a head massage (seriously) or getting a haircut. The strangest one I saw was a “girlfriend role-play”; I think having a girlfriend IRL is a lot more appealing.

I admit that these videos made me a little bit sleepy; not because they were making me relaxed. But only out of boredom since nothing was happening. Maybe if I had experienced these mind blowing tingling sensations that some people claim to feel I would feel differently about ASMR.

I conducted a somewhat less-than-scientific study by asking a couple of people to watch ASMR videos and based or preliminary results I can say that ASMR doesn't seem to affect Malaysian or Canadians. Further observation is required..

Before I get hate mail from ASMR enthusiasts let me say that I'm not saying it doesn't work, I'm saying it doesn't work for me. And when I say “strange” I don't mean bad; it's just different. It's more of a personal thing; when I need to feel concentrate on writing or relax I just listen to a website dedicated to the sound of pouring rain. It's “strange” to some people but it's not a bad thing; not like cat porn. I also like to play Planetside 2 and kill for the Terran Republic (Go TR!)

But check out the ASMR links and go see for yourself, don't just take my word for it. So ASMR didn't work for me and I didn't enjoy it but like Pope Frank who am I to judge? Plus my scalp might not be as virile as it used to be..

Some links to check out:

What is ASMR? by Rhett and Link

ASMR touching and brushing the microphone

ASMR whispering in Italian

ASMR role-play haircut

ASMR role-play girlfriend

ASMR 3-D sound (just watch it)

Image Credit of puppet with headphones

RainyMood

Andjust for no particular reason a link to “sex sounds”

That is it! Time out for you..

Something caught my attention this week, it was news story reported in The Star about a Malaysian couple who have been arrested in Sweden for allegedly hitting their son on the hand. In 1979 Sweden had banned corporal punishment; and by hitting (allegedly) their son on the hand the parents had broken the law.

After the school had reported the matter to the police the parents were arrested and all the children had been placed in foster care. So far, the parents have been detained for a month as in Sweden there is no bail system and arrested can be held in custody until their trial is complete. And it will be at least another two weeks until their case is heard.

There was some controversy over the placement of the children in foster care because they weren't allowed to meet their relatives who had flown in from Malaysia. One of the children, identified only as Ammar, said: “I miss Mummy and Daddy. We want to go back to Malaysia but they won’t let us. The Swedish social services with the help of representatives from the Malaysian Embassy are trying to find a Malaysian family to foster the children.

Khairy Jamaluddin who is the Minister of Youth and Sports described the extended detention of the Malaysian couple in Sweden as harsh. “Although we respect their law, I think extending the remand is harsh,” he said.

It's not everyday I find myself agreeing with this person but isn't it the pot calling the kettle black? I'm sure you could find some people inSweden who think it's a little “harsh” to arrest a couple foruploading a distasteful photo or arrest a dog trainer for uploading avideo on to Youtube.

According to an unnamed source (which doesn't exist since I'm making this part up), the parents are currently being held in a not-so-hard labour camp where they have to assemble IKEA furniture for those who can't read unbelievably simple instructions. I get it..jokes about IKEA furniture are common, but I couldn't help myself. I still love IKEA furniture :)

While some countries (around 30) have banned corporal punishment against children, discipline and punishment by parents (such as spanking) have always been a somewhat grey area. Besides what's wrong with a little discipline? Maybe if the Swedes were a little more stricter they wouldn't have lost the Battle of Poltava in 1709. That's right people, I just put Sweden on blast :P I'm kidding of course. But if any Swedes are upset over the mention of that historic loss to the Russians I would say “Seriously bro, let it go.”

Corporal punishment prohibited in schools and home/Corporal punishment prohibited in schools only

In case you're wondering,I have probably been hit by my parents a handful of times. I can't really remember getting hit except for one incident. In fact in most of these cases I would probably say I deserved it (it has nothing to do with the fact that they're standing over my shoulder right now.) I was a bit of a wild child. While my parents were somewhat strict, I could get away with stuff pretty easily. Especially with my mother.

About 12 years ago my Dad had left for a trip, I got really upset because I missed him. And when I get upset I like to eat junk food (I still do); so I asked my Mum to buy me some McDonald's before she got home. She forgot and long story short, the next morning my Mum tried in vain to drag me to the bathroom (I was a fat kid) since I decided to go on “strike.” And so, like the protesters in New York I decided to occupy my bedroom. Unlike the protesters, I got my way and not only missed school that day but also had a lovely McDonald's meal.

Hopefully this whole thing will be resolved soon. I don't think you can criticize a country for wanting for wanting to protect children while there are other countries out there who are trying to take away the rights of other people (looking at you Putin. And no, you can't use the same argument of protecting children to discriminate against the LGBT community.) And if you ever find yourself losing your patience with your child, just use the naughty step. Or you just might find yourself having to take a "time out."

Check out these links:

Can't we all just get along?

Malaysian couple in Swedish custody

Battle of Poltava

Cracked - IKEA

IKEA furniture causes “domestic disturbance”

Image Credit – Cornered

Image Credit – Corporal Punishment Europe

Vice Documentary – Young and Gay in Russia

Cheese anyone?

You never know who's watching

Recently the Harian Metro, one of Malaysia's leading tabloid newspapers published a story about a new trend that is becoming popular amongst the patrons of massage parlours. Apparently the men (no surprise there) were being given the option of having their body smeared with cream cheese; the “masseuse” would then lick the cheese of the client's body. Don't expect this special service from every spa; it's a brothel masquerading as a massage parlour.

Call me old-fashioned but I've always had the belief that food should be served on a plate. The only time this rule doesn't apply is when you're ordering from a drive-thru or if you happen to drop some food on the floor; if that happens then the 3-second rule is in effect. Plus it's a waste of good food. Then again I'm an old-fogey, so my opinion on such matters don't really apply.

I like how the country has been described as a “predominantly Muslim Malaysia, where conservative attitudes toward sex prevail.” This is only half-true, while Muslims are a majority (I'm one myself) we definitely do not have a “conservative” attitude to sex; after all, how conservative can we be as a country if there exists places where you can pay to have a “masseuse” lick cream cheese off your body?

And Malaysians have access to the internet. I'm pretty sure if you were to look through people's browsing history you'd find some pretty disturbing material. For the record, if you look through mine you'll see searches for “animals wearing clothes” and “cats that look like Hitler” as well as “How can I be a less perfect human being because I'm so awesome and my friends are all jealous of me.” Don't judge me! At least I'm not having someone use me as a savoury snack.

It's amazing what you can find on the internet. I just browsed Craigslist Malaysia and under the “services offered” section there are plenty of ads listing massages and escort services for gentlemen who just want a night of quiet conversation and the company of a beautiful young woman. And nothing else *wink wink*.'

I even found one ad asking for a female house cleaner. Which is not really strange; after all, cleanliness is next to godliness. But he (and I assume it's a man) did have one teeny tiny request. That she did it whilst in a state of undress (not creepy at all.)

Imagine if he had been given a Roomba this Christmas? The look of disappointment on his face would have been priceless. And the “men seeking women” section is a lot more creepier. Now if you'll excuse me for a moment, I need to take a shower; for some reason I feel dirty (oh crap, maybe I'm a Muslim with a predominantly conservative attitude to sex.)

A town council official told the Harian Metro that “massage parlours would face stern action if found to be offering irresponsible activities.” Oooh...I bet the operators of such institutions are quaking in their boots. Hold on..I have just received this news flash:

BREAKING NEWS – massage parlours all over Malaysia have closed shop and moved to Singapore and Thailand , where the population is less predominantly Muslim and the prevailing attitudes towards sex are not as conservative. And of course they were afraid of the “stern actions” threatened by local council officials. Mission accomplished.

Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on your viewpoint), like most countries the authorities in Malaysia tend to look the other way when it comes to prostitution. And I've seen it first hand. A few weeks ago I had to drive in the city to take my Dad to the bank. This particular bank is located adjacent to a hotel frequented by tourists. Since there was no parking available I ended up parked on a double yellow line (which is technically illegal.) But in my defence I wasn't alone, there were plenty of cars doing the same thing.

It was while waiting for my Dad that I noticed something strange about the driver of the car right in front of me. He was standing next to his car and he had a walkie-talkie attached to his belt. A few moments later I noticed a man (presumably a tourist) coming from the hotel and having a brief conversation with the driver of the car.

The tourist then opened the passenger door peered inside the car; then gestured towards someone inside the car and a young woman stepped out and they both went back towards the hotel. Turns out there were two women in the car; I think what was happening in front of me is pretty self-explanatory to everyone.

For some reason I started getting angry. I still don't know why. Maybe that night I was in a particularly bad mood. Maybe it was fact that these men were treating these women like commodities and were going to benefit from this transaction; one financially and one sexually.

Or maybe the real reason I got upset was that this man openly participating in the prostitution of women without any fear of being caught by the police. Meanwhile, the authorities are busy arresting a woman for uploading a video on Youtube; arresting a young couple for being politically incorrect (at least by Malaysian standards); or in a recent case allegedly (according to some critics) suspending a newspaper for publishing an article on the spending habits of the Prime Minister Najib Tun Razak and his wife Rosmah Mansor.

The weekly newspaper “The Heat” had recently published an article titled “All eyes on big-spending PM Najib”; the report then listed expenditures incurred on overseas trips and consultancy fees as well as Rosmah's use of a government jet to attend a conference in Doha, Qatar.

Shortly after this The Heat received a suspension order from the Home Ministry.

I also have to emphasise the word “allegedly”; according to some opposition politician's The Heat was suspended because the article had portrayed the Prime Minister in a negative way.

According to the Home Ministry the suspension had nothing to do with the article; the publishing company had violated provisions mandated under its printing permit as well as failed to inform the Home Ministry about a change in ownership. The timing is just an unfortunate coincidence.

This is starting to get a bit long. I'm sorry for the diversion; in the beginning you were reading about cheese and sex and I managed to turn it into a piece about the Malaysian Government.

I guess in the end I'm just naïve. When you spend your time in front of a computer or reading a book you have a tendency to forget about how the real world works. And it can be depressing sometimes. Why can't the world just be sugar, spice and everything nice?

Of course, the big irony was that just as my dad was getting back in the car a security guard approached us as we were parked on a double yellow line. And that was illegal. Sigh..c'est la vie.

P.S. Last week I wrote an article about lighthouses and I have to admit that it's not my best writing. But of course, that's the one people read and commented on the most to me. In my defence, there are some weeks where I have nothing to write and last week's post is evident of that. I guess all I can say is I do what I can and please bear with me. Anyways, have a great week and be awesome every day or at least try to.

Some links to check out:

Last weeks post on lighthouses (eugh)

Bonus Post – Man of Steel Rant

My Ramblings Tumblr

Alvin Tan/Vivian Lee + Maznah Mohd Yusof arrested for “breaking the law”

Malaysian Spa's and cheese

The Heat suspended

FMT article about The Heats suspension

Image credit – Neighbourhood Watch sign

Oy Vey!

Recently the Auditor-General's 2012 report was released to the public and it's a gift that keeps on giving. That was a little sarcasm there in case you didn't get it (Sara); it has been quite revealing. It turns out the Government has a lot of money; unfortunately most of it end up in the hands of the corrupt/incompetent.

Here are a few brief highlights that have been revealed by the report. Read it and weep:

• The Sports and Youth Department spent RM2.9 million last year for the National Youth Day celebrations. At least half of the amount was spent on bringing in 3 K-Pop groups
• The Inland Revenue Board wasted more than RM9 million relocating its processing centre in Pandan Indah to Bangi
• The Ministry of Health paid two companies a total of RM320,000 to set up two Facebook and Twitter accounts
• And the report also revealed that several hundred Health Ministry officials filed false claims to reimburse them for purchases made on clothes and shoes. The claims made just for SHOES alone totalled RM207,000. When the auditors checked the addresses on the receipts they found that the stores did not exist
• A senior official in the Communications and Culture Ministry claimed travel expenses which totalled RM303,813 for a four day trip to Switzerland (Dayum!) to study the emergency telephone system (Da'Fuq?) If this is what he spent for business I hate to see what he spends on vacation. The auditors believe that the trip was actually worth RM50,000. Well clearly they don't know how to party
• The Customs Department destroyed 7,659 pairs of new shoes because they didn't fit and had also started to degrade after being kept in storage for 3 years. It's not too bad; it only cost taxpayers over RM600,000
• Clocks, scanners and “miscellaneous items” cost the Broadcasting Department around RM9 million. Why so much you ask? For example the department was budgeted RM100 to spend on each wall clocks. They ended up spending RM3,810 on 20 “branded” wall clocks which cost a total RM76,200 (sigh...)
• And I saved the best for last. The report initially revealed that the Royal Malaysia Police had lost over RM1 million worth of equipment including 44 guns and 29 vehicles

I guess I can empathize with the police. After all I've misplaced plenty of things and lost them. Nope..they're just idiots. The next time I get a parking ticket I'm just going to “lose it” by accident. And if the police give me to much trouble over it I'll just ask about the missing guns and vehicles. That'll shut em' up.

Opposition politicians have been quick to lampoon the police over the missing guns; saying that they might have fallen into the hands of criminals. But the Inspector General of Police has said not to worry; the guns may have not fallen into the hands of criminals but might have fallen into the ocean instead during operations and couldn't be recovered. WOW...I feel much safer.

Opposition MP Teresa Kok described the IGP's explanation as “idiotic.” Another politician Lim Guang Eng also asked if the vehicles lost by the police ended up in the ocean. Well, in Malaysia anything is possible after all.

A few days after the report was released the police said only 43 guns were now missing. One had been found. Well..sort of; a police officer who was off duty had to change a flat tyre on his motorcycle. And while changing his tyre he was approached by a man with a knife who threatened him before stealing the policeman's bag which contained the firearm. If only the police officer had something to defend himself with..oh wait. Too bad it was in his bag. Most people use holsters. I guess you can bring a knife to a gunfight and win. Sucks to be him, I guess. One down 43 to go.

A few weeks ago I wrote about a man by the name of Saravanan Batumalai who bravely intervened in a robbery that was taking place by ramming his car into the robbers motorcycle. The “alleged” robbers turned out to be cops and Saravanan managed to identity the two police officers from an identification parade. So you think case closed and the “alleged” prick cops go to jail.

Unfortunately in Malaysia things are not so easy. Not only did the cops remain on active duty during the investigation they have also been cleared of charges due to legal technicalities. Even though Saravanan gave a positive identification of the two police officers it doesn't count because the two cops had solid alibi's. Apparently Saravan's word is not good enough. Oh and of course the police don't lie.

Another reason the police officers didn't get charged is that the victim of the robbery never came forward to make a report or press charges. How convenient..I'm sure the police had nothing to do with that.

Of course what's the point of having two witnesses when the word of one witness is not good enough. As for the motorcycle that was found at the scene that belonged to one of the police officers? Well, according to the “alleged” scumbag cop, he had sold it to an unidentified man a few weeks before the crime took place. Sure, that makes sense. Wait..what's that smell? Too bad this “unidentified man” couldn't be found. Maybe he's a ghost like from Sixth Sense?

Saravanan has said he is disappointed over the result of the investigation; "There were witnesses to the attack and I cannot forget their faces as they were not wearing helmets. So how can they say there is a lack of evidence?”

It almost seems like there is a cover-up. After he lodged his police report he didn't hear anything from the police department which was almost two months. That was of course until the newspapers reported the story. Well regardless Saravan is still a BAMF. And those two cops are assholes. Allegedly...

Of course the question now is “What's next?” Will these reports be ignored until the next report? So far the Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission has opened 15 investigations. But just because you're being investigated it doesn't mean anything is going to happen. Just ask the two robber “alleged” cops.

As for the out of control spending I have a suggestion. Whenever I make a purchase on my credit card I get sent an sms to let me know about it. I think the Prime Minister needs to have a sms sent to him whenever a government department or official makes a purchase. At least then he can't keep ignoring it. I joke but seriously you guys need to get your shit together.

While all these revelations have been somewhat hilarious, the sad part is that the losers in this are the Malaysian people. Maybe it's time for a change? Next election is in a few years. In the meantime I'm going to get me a scuba license and find me some guns. Finders, keepers..

Don't take my word for it here are some links:

IGP guns “fall into sea”

A'G report: cops lose RM1.3 million

One down 43 to go

How will the average Malaysian react?

Image Credit:

Hang in there copy

My Ramblings Tumblr

What Would It Be Like To Live As A Woman?

“How do women still go out with guys? When you consider the fact that there is no greater threat to women than men. We're the number one threat..to women.

Globally and historically, we're the number one cause of injury and mayhem to women. We're the worst thing that ever happens to them”

Louis C.K.

I'm a man. Most of the time I like being a man; but sometimes I wonder what life would be like as a woman. That might have sounded a little strange. This is not me having a gender identity crisis. I'm very comfortable with my gender. Maybe on some level I don't like being me; but that's a whole other long and complicated story. I think I'm just angry at men in general at this moment.

What has made me so angry at MANkind? The story of a former teacher, Stacey Dean Rambold who had admitted to repeatedly raping his student who was 14 years old at the time and was sentenced to just 30 days in prison. The victim, Cherice Moralez committed suicide just before her 17^th birthday. Her mother who had testified that the rape was a major factor in her daughters suicide repeatedly screamed “you people suck!” in the courtroom after hearing the sentence.

Stacey Rambold - Sentenced 30 days

Judge Todd Baugh who was presiding over the case initially sentenced the teacher to 15 years in prison but suspended the sentence to just 30 days. I don't know what makes me angrier, the verdict or what the judge later said in court; Judge Baugh said that the victim was was “older than her chronological age" and "as much in control of the situation" as her teacher (WTF?).

The Victim - Cherice Moralez

When did it become even remotely okay to blame the VICTIM for being raped? I must have missed that memo. Rambold's attorney, had also argued that Rambold had "already suffered as a result of his conduct," losing his career and his standing in the community. 

Judge Baugh - The Eejit

 

Poor man..I feel really “sorry” that a rapist lost his job; the respect of the people in his community and will have to be registered as a sex offender for the rest of his life. What about Cherice Moralez? Didn't she suffer as well? She took her own life! I'm guessing he doesn't feel responsible about that as well? And in less than a month he will be back on the streets living his life.

Unfortunately many cases of rape go unreported in the United States. The fear and stigma associated with being a rape victim is overwhelming. For those that do find the courage to come forward it doesn't mean that they will get justice. The irony is that by even serving the 30 days Rambold will be facing some “justice.”

According to the RAINN, a anti-sexual abuse network 97 out of every 100 rapists never go to jail. RAINN studied Justice Department data and concluded that “only about one out of four reported rapes leads to an arrest, and only about one out of four arrests leads to a felony conviction and incarceration.” Sigh..no justice, no peace.

The quote at the top was made by Louis C.K. from his show “Oh My God.” And he does make a good point. WE are the worst thing that ever happens to them; maybe not so much now. Sure, things have improved over the centuries and men are a lot more civilized and gentrified. But not always; sometimes our behaviour leaves a lot to be desired.

I was listening to the Runaway Thoughts podcast and someone asked the question “How often do you think that men are unaware of how degrading/disrespectful men are being to women.” And the unequivocal answer was “men don't realize they're being sexist 100% of the time.”

Well Judge Baugh realized his mistake a little too late. He later apologized for what he had said; though I think he was more worried about his re-election next year. Dear Montanans, please elect someone else instead of that fucking idiot. If you decided to re-elect him you'll only have yourselves to blame.

I can't remember who exactly said this; I think it might have been Joe Rogan on his podcast (I listen to a lot of podcasts). He made the point that men should have to experience want women go through on a daily basis; all the harassment and sexism from men. And I understand what he's trying to say. There are a lot of things I will never have to experience as a man. Like harassment in public by other men.

As a man, I can take a bus or train without another man behaving like a creep towards me. As a man, I have the privilege to walk anywhere I want and have my personal space be respected. As a man, I never have to experience what it feels like when I'm walking down a street alone and a group of men start making disgusting comments. As a man, I'm able to pass by a construction site and I'm pretty sure I will not be disrespected with comments about how I'm dressed or how my body looks.

Of course some guys actually think they are giving women a compliment, they think that women like being treated like a piece of meat by strangers. It is absolutely a form of harassment and any guy in this day and age should just know better. It is a big deal and it's not funny. So for all the guys out there who maybe have never considered this before, please watch what you say and how you behave. Sexual harassment of anyone is terrible and should not be accepted. Treat people with respect.

And I don't want to give the impression that all construction workers or men are pigs. After all I'm a man and I hope I'm not considered one as well. Generally speaking the overwhelming majority of men and women are decent human beings. Not all construction workers and men are creeps. Just the creepy ones.

Here are some links:

Prosecutors vowto appeal 30 day sentence

Student shareshorrific expreriences

RAINN website

Runaway ThoughtsPodcast

My RamblingsTumblr