Sunday, 20 April 2014

A slip of the tongue reveals my Oedipus complex?

A few days ago I had to take my mother's car to be serviced. Now for most people this isn't such a big deal. But from someone who has some social anxiety (or maybe just shy) it can be a little more difficult. At least in my mind.

As far as service centres go this particular Toyota service centre is pretty agreeable. It has a large customer lounge with plenty of seats and tables available to ignore all the other people getting their car serviced. Well, service centres aren't known to be sociable places in the first place. Plus there's free coffee, the gesture is a nice one even though the coffee might not be. If you expect Starbucks you will be greatly disappointed. 
For some reason I get reminded of visiting the clinic whenever I have to get the car serviced. First you have to book an appointment. When you get to the service centre you have to hand over your service book to receptionist, then wait on a bench until the service adviser calls you. On this particular occasion there were just 3 people waiting to get their car serviced since it was early in the day.

When the service adviser is done reviewing the service book he will then call out the number plate of your vehicle. Now, since I was bringing in my mother's car I didn't immediately get up from my seat. It was only when I saw that the people around me weren't responding that I realized he was calling me and I finally got up, still somewhat unsure. I had a quick look outside to make sure that I wasn't making a mistake.

You take another seat at the service adviser's desk and then he starts to tell you all the things that are going to happen to the car. As he listed everything I just nodded my head and said “OK” every time and boy was it a long list. 
Since this wasn't my car I was only half-listening as he went through the list; he could have said “and then we're going to send your car to the junk yard to be crushed” and I would still have said “OK.” It's not like there was much to say in the first place, “Well Mr. Faiz we will be changing the engine oil” and I would ask him “That sounds nice. Is it synthetic or mineral?”
Since the car is registered under my mother he needed my name for the form. And after giving my name he asked “So Ms. Blank is your husband?” For the record he made the mistake first; of course, I was going to say that she was my mother but for some reason my mind thought I was playing a word association game. 
I told him that “Ms. Blank is my wife” and while he was in mid-sentence apologizing for his mistake I had to interrupt him “err no..actually she's my mother.” Sigh..why can't life be easy? At least I managed to get to the customer lounge without incident and proceeded to spend the next 2 hours on my phone launching Angry Birds at evil pigs and ignoring people. Just the way I like it.

On a totally separate note I think I'm getting older, I think one of the signs is when you've missed the point of listening to music. On the way back I was listening to the radio and Coldplay's “The Scientist” came on and instead of enjoying the song it reminded me of the music video and I started analysing it. This is what I came up with:
  • poor guy, he probably has a concussion
  • the truck driver fled the scene of an accident, which is like really illegal
  • he managed to walk a REALLY long way from the scene of the accident
  • that mattress didn't really look too bad considering where it had been left
  • Gosh, I wish I could go back in time

In short I over think things and I'm awkward in public. Welcome to my life...

Here's a link to check out:

Sunday, 6 April 2014

I am...a woman

I just want to clarify a few things. I'm not having a existential crisis or trying to come to terms with my gender identity; I'm proud to say that I am still happy to be a man, whatever that means. Get back to me in a couple of years. I recently discovered Duolingo and I'm currently learning German..because you's the language of the future? Maybe I should have picked a different language.

Anyway, I was using Duolingo; in case you are unaware Doulingo is a free language-learning app. And it's pretty easy and fun way to learn a new language, even one as hard as German. The lessons usually involve being presented with individual words and later phrases and translating them from German to English and vice versa. Occasionally, you would have to speak into the microphone on your phone/tablet and translate a sentence.

On this particular occasion I was sitting in my car with the windows down, waiting for someone and I decided that I would brush up on my German. And on one of the lessons I had to translate the phrase “Ich bin eine Frau”; the English translation being “I am a woman.” For some reason my microphone wasn't registering my first and second attempts. So on the third attempt I really went for it and shouted out “I AM A WOMAN!”

The good news is that the microphone did pick up what I had said that time. And so did the man who was walking by the car. What the man thought about this revelation as he looked at me I wouldn't know; he didn't seem too intrigued. If anything he might have walked a little bit faster but that might have been my imagination.

On a totally separate note one on my favourite TV shows, How I Met Your Mother has finally come an end. I don't want to spoil it for you just in case you still haven't seen it yet. All I'll say is that I found the season finale of The Walking Dead to be less depressing than the last two episodes of HIMYM. And then, I got depressed when I realized I had to wait a few months for the new season of TWD and maybe a year or two for the next season of House of Cards.

Last weeks Grey's Anatomy proved to be pretty uneventful. Maybe it's time for the show to end? Over the years I've learned a few things after watching Grey Anatomy:

  1. On-call rooms are NOT meant for rest but strictly for sex
  2. Re-enacting the Second World War with live ammunition is a really bad idea
  3. A lot of bad shit happens to the staff of the Grey Sloan Memorial (formerly Seattle Grace) Hospital

And on last weeks episode I learned two more things:

  1. Phones in the future suck

  1. Ross should not grow a Goatee and should stick to contacts

P.S. I feel like I have to explain the first photo. Yes it is real and yes it is a photo of me. All I'll say is that I have a older sister. Sometimes she would dress me up in her old clothes and on other occasions apply make-up to my face (those photos shall never see the light of day.) This was back in the early 90's so there wasn't much to do and we got bored easily. Plus I was about 6 years old and children of that age aren't known for using good judgement. Sometimes I like to relive my childhood and dress up in women's clothes.

Some links to check out: