Ramblings of a Beardyman: Oy Vey!

Recently the Auditor-General's 2012 report was released to the public and it's a gift that keeps on giving. That was a little sarcasm there in case you didn't get it (Sara); it has been quite revealing. It turns out the Government has a lot of money; unfortunately most of it end up in the hands of the corrupt/incompetent.

Here are a few brief highlights that have been revealed by the report. Read it and weep:

The Sports and Youth Department spent RM2.9 million last year for the National Youth Day celebrations. At least half of the amount was spent on bringing in 3 K-Pop groups
The Inland Revenue Board wasted more than RM9 million relocating its processing centre in Pandan Indah to Bangi
The Ministry of Health paid two companies a total of RM320,000 to set up two Facebook and Twitter accounts
And the report also revealed that several hundred Health Ministry officials filed false claims to reimburse them for purchases made on clothes and shoes. The claims made just for SHOES alone totalled RM207,000. When the auditors checked the addresses on the receipts they found that the stores did not exist
A senior official in the Communications and Culture Ministry claimed travel expenses which totalled RM303,813 for a four day trip to Switzerland (Dayum!) to study the emergency telephone system (Da'Fuq?) If this is what he spent for business I hate to see what he spends on vacation. The auditors believe that the trip was actually worth RM50,000. Well clearly they don't know how to party
The Customs Department destroyed 7,659 pairs of new shoes because they didn't fit and had also started to degrade after being kept in storage for 3 years. It's not too bad; it only cost taxpayers over RM600,000
Clocks, scanners and “miscellaneous items” cost the Broadcasting Department around RM9 million. Why so much you ask? For example the department was budgeted RM100 to spend on each wall clocks. They ended up spending RM3,810 on 20 “branded” wall clocks which cost a total RM76,200 (sigh...)
And I saved the best for last. The report initially revealed that the Royal Malaysia Police had lost over RM1 million worth of equipment including 44 guns and 29 vehicles

I guess I can empathize with the police. After all I've misplaced plenty of things and lost them. Nope..they're just idiots. The next time I get a parking ticket I'm just going to “lose it” by accident. And if the police give me to much trouble over it I'll just ask about the missing guns and vehicles. That'll shut em' up.

Opposition politicians have been quick to lampoon the police over the missing guns; saying that they might have fallen into the hands of criminals. But the Inspector General of Police has said not to worry; the guns may have not fallen into the hands of criminals but might have fallen into the ocean instead during operations and couldn't be recovered. WOW...I feel much safer.

Opposition MP Teresa Kok described the IGP's explanation as “idiotic.” Another politician Lim Guang Eng also asked if the vehicles lost by the police ended up in the ocean. Well, in Malaysia anything is possible after all.

A few days after the report was released the police said only 43 guns were now missing. One had been found. Well..sort of; a police officer who was off duty had to change a flat tyre on his motorcycle. And while changing his tyre he was approached by a man with a knife who threatened him before stealing the policeman's bag which contained the firearm. If only the police officer had something to defend himself with..oh wait. Too bad it was in his bag. Most people use holsters. I guess you can bring a knife to a gunfight and win. Sucks to be him, I guess. One down 43 to go.

A few weeks ago I wrote about a man by the name of Saravanan Batumalai who bravely intervened in a robbery that was taking place by ramming his car into the robbers motorcycle. The “alleged” robbers turned out to be cops and Saravanan managed to identity the two police officers from an identification parade. So you think case closed and the “alleged” prick cops go to jail.

Unfortunately in Malaysia things are not so easy. Not only did the cops remain on active duty during the investigation they have also been cleared of charges due to legal technicalities. Even though Saravanan gave a positive identification of the two police officers it doesn't count because the two cops had solid alibi's. Apparently Saravan's word is not good enough. Oh and of course the police don't lie.

Another reason the police officers didn't get charged is that the victim of the robbery never came forward to make a report or press charges. How convenient..I'm sure the police had nothing to do with that.

Of course what's the point of having two witnesses when the word of one witness is not good enough. As for the motorcycle that was found at the scene that belonged to one of the police officers? Well, according to the “alleged” scumbag cop, he had sold it to an unidentified man a few weeks before the crime took place. Sure, that makes sense. Wait..what's that smell? Too bad this “unidentified man” couldn't be found. Maybe he's a ghost like from Sixth Sense?

Saravanan has said he is disappointed over the result of the investigation; "There were witnesses to the attack and I cannot forget their faces as they were not wearing helmets. So how can they say there is a lack of evidence?”

It almost seems like there is a cover-up. After he lodged his police report he didn't hear anything from the police department which was almost two months. That was of course until the newspapers reported the story. Well regardless Saravan is still a BAMF. And those two cops are assholes. Allegedly...

Of course the question now is “What's next?” Will these reports be ignored until the next report? So far the Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission has opened 15 investigations. But just because you're being investigated it doesn't mean anything is going to happen. Just ask the two robber “alleged” cops.

As for the out of control spending I have a suggestion. Whenever I make a purchase on my credit card I get sent an sms to let me know about it. I think the Prime Minister needs to have a sms sent to him whenever a government department or official makes a purchase. At least then he can't keep ignoring it. I joke but seriously you guys need to get your shit together.

While all these revelations have been somewhat hilarious, the sad part is that the losers in this are the Malaysian people. Maybe it's time for a change? Next election is in a few years. In the meantime I'm going to get me a scuba license and find me some guns. Finders, keepers..