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| You never know who's watching |
Recently
the Harian Metro, one of
Malaysia's leading tabloid newspapers published a story about a new
trend that is becoming popular amongst the patrons of massage
parlours. Apparently the men (no surprise there) were being given the
option of having their body smeared with cream cheese; the “masseuse”
would then lick the cheese of the client's body. Don't expect this
special service from every spa; it's a brothel masquerading as a
massage parlour.
Call
me old-fashioned but I've always had the belief that food should be
served on a plate. The only time this rule doesn't apply is when
you're ordering from a drive-thru or if you happen to drop some food
on the floor; if that happens then the 3-second rule is in effect.
Plus it's a waste of good food. Then again I'm an old-fogey, so my
opinion on such matters don't really apply.
I
like how the country has been described as a “predominantly Muslim
Malaysia, where conservative attitudes toward sex prevail.” This is
only half-true, while Muslims are a majority (I'm one myself) we
definitely do not have a “conservative” attitude to sex; after
all, how conservative can we be as a country if there exists places
where you can pay to have a “masseuse” lick cream cheese off your
body?
And
Malaysians have access to the internet. I'm pretty sure if you were
to look through people's browsing history you'd find some pretty
disturbing material. For the record, if you look through mine you'll
see searches for “animals wearing clothes” and “cats
that look like Hitler” as
well as “How can I be a less perfect human being because
I'm so awesome and my friends are all jealous of me.” Don't
judge me! At least I'm not having someone use me as a savoury snack.
It's
amazing what you can find on the internet. I just browsed Craigslist
Malaysia and under the “services offered” section there are
plenty of ads listing massages and escort services for gentlemen who
just want a night of quiet conversation and the company of a
beautiful young woman. And nothing else *wink wink*.'
I
even found one ad asking for a female house cleaner. Which is not
really strange; after all, cleanliness is next to godliness. But he
(and I assume it's a man) did have one teeny tiny
request. That she did it whilst in a state of undress
(not creepy at all.)
Imagine
if he had been given a Roomba this Christmas? The look of
disappointment on his face would have been priceless. And the “men
seeking women” section is a lot more creepier. Now if you'll excuse
me for a moment, I need to take a shower; for some reason I feel
dirty (oh crap, maybe I'm a Muslim with a predominantly conservative
attitude to sex.)
A
town council official told the Harian Metro that
“massage parlours would face stern
action if found to be
offering irresponsible activities.” Oooh...I bet the operators of
such institutions are quaking in their boots. Hold on..I have just
received this news flash:
BREAKING
NEWS – massage parlours all over Malaysia have
closed shop and moved to Singapore and Thailand , where the
population is less predominantly Muslim and the prevailing attitudes
towards sex are not as conservative. And of course they were afraid
of the “stern actions” threatened by local council officials.
Mission accomplished.
Unfortunately (or fortunately
depending on your viewpoint), like most countries the authorities in
Malaysia tend to look the other way when it comes to prostitution.
And I've seen it first hand. A few weeks ago I had to drive in the
city to take my Dad to the bank. This particular bank is located
adjacent to a hotel frequented by tourists. Since there was no
parking available I ended up parked on a double yellow line (which is
technically illegal.) But in my defence I wasn't alone, there
were plenty of cars doing the same thing.
It was while waiting for my Dad that I
noticed something strange about the driver of the car right in front
of me. He was standing next to his car and he had a walkie-talkie
attached to his belt. A few moments later I noticed a man (presumably
a tourist) coming from the hotel and having a brief conversation with
the driver of the car.
The tourist then opened the passenger
door peered inside the car; then gestured towards someone inside the
car and a young woman stepped out and they both went back towards the
hotel. Turns out there were two women in the car; I think what was
happening in front of me is pretty self-explanatory to everyone.
For
some reason I started getting angry. I still don't know why. Maybe
that night I was in a particularly bad mood. Maybe it was fact that
these men were treating these women like commodities and were going
to benefit from this transaction; one financially and one sexually.
Or
maybe the real reason I got upset was that this man openly
participating in the prostitution of women without any fear of being
caught by the police. Meanwhile, the authorities are busy arresting a
woman for uploading a video on Youtube; arresting a young couple for
being politically incorrect (at least by Malaysian standards); or in
a recent case allegedly (according to some critics) suspending
a newspaper for publishing an article on the spending habits of the
Prime Minister Najib Tun Razak and his wife Rosmah Mansor.
The
weekly newspaper “The Heat” had recently published an article
titled “All eyes on big-spending PM Najib”; the report then
listed expenditures incurred on overseas trips and consultancy fees
as well as Rosmah's use of a government jet to attend a conference in
Doha, Qatar.
Shortly
after this The Heat received a suspension order from the Home
Ministry.
I
also have to emphasise the word “allegedly”; according to some
opposition politician's The Heat was suspended because the article
had portrayed the Prime Minister in a negative way.
According
to the Home Ministry the suspension had nothing to do with the
article; the publishing company had violated provisions mandated
under its printing permit as well as failed to inform the Home
Ministry about a change in ownership. The timing is just an
unfortunate coincidence.
This
is starting to get a bit long. I'm sorry for the diversion; in the
beginning you were reading about cheese and sex and I managed to turn
it into a piece about the Malaysian Government.
I
guess in the end I'm just naïve. When you spend your time in front
of a computer or reading a book you have a tendency to forget about
how the real world works. And it can be depressing sometimes.
Why can't the world just be sugar, spice and everything nice?
Of
course, the big irony was that just as my dad was getting back in the
car a security guard approached us as we were parked on a double
yellow line. And that was illegal. Sigh..c'est la vie.
P.S. Last week I wrote an article
about lighthouses and I have to admit that it's not my best writing.
But of course, that's the one people read and commented on the most
to me. In my defence, there are some weeks where I have nothing to
write and last week's post is evident of that. I guess all I can say
is I do what I can and please bear with me. Anyways, have a great
week and be awesome every day or at least try to.
Some links to check out:
