Saturday, 14 December 2013

I know too much!

TMI a.k.a Too Much Information - Way more than you need/want to know about someone.

John: I have mad chafing on my balls.
Frank: uh, TMI

-Urban Dictionary

I have a few flaws. I'm the person that:

  • reminisces about the past too much
  • tries to turn everything into a joke
  • is way too sarcastic for his own good
  • who gives directions to people who are lost even when he doesn't know the directions himself (hint: if you ask someone for directions and their first word is “erm..” keep driving)
  • has awkward conversations involving TMI

And the last point is probably one of the worst things about me. I can't help myself, I don't know my limit. Sometimes, when someone asks me a simple question I just keep going on and on (like right now.)

It's not so bad when it's with my family and close friends, they're used to it by now. Usually after a few minutes of my rambling their eyes glaze over and they stay silent. Eventually I'll become aware of the silence and my voice will trail off. Recently, my mother was surprised that there were camels in Australia.

I then mention to her the fact that Australia has the largest population of camels outside the middle east; that they were brought in to help cross the interior of Australia; their decline and how they're seen as a pest; how they're being culled because of the impact they have on the environment. And for all this information all I got back was an “uhum.”

Sometimes it can be a little bit awkward. A few years ago, I managed to get in touch with a friend from Australia on Facebook. We went to school together and we haven't been in contact for 18 years. He made the mistake of messaging me back to ask how things were. And boy did I let him know. It probably took him 18 years to finish reading that message. I've never heard from him since.

It didn't seem like a big deal at the time. I only regretted what I had written after hitting send. So I try to be a lot careful now with people I don't know and how much I tell them.

Occasionally I'll come across people who tell me a little too much. A few years ago someone sent me an email to ask permission to use a photo I had posted. And he ended his e-mail with this “PS It's been a looong time since I've been in Malaysia. But I bet you guys still drive on the wrong side of the street :)”

I e-mailed him back to let him know that he could use the photo; I also asked him just out of curiosity and because he seemed nice when was the last time he visited Malaysia. And he replied with the following:

Hi Faiz,
Thanks for the use of the photo. I'll let you know when the video is finished.
I think it was about 1970 when I was in Malaysia, specifically Singapore. I was a merchant seaman and we were on our way to Pakistan with a load of 'fertilizer' as foreign aid. (Think Ammonium Nitrate and munitions) We had agreed not to provide weapons to Pakistan or India to assist in their 'dispute'. Anyway...
My three main memories of Singapore, remembering please that I was a young seaman.
1. A really fine little 'bordello' where, just like in the movies, the ladies line up while you pick and choose.
2. A cab driver who totally freaked out when I flipped a cigarette butt out the window. Although he should have warned us about the anti-littering laws when we got into the cab since we were a motley crew of heathen foreigners.
3. Some blond pot, illegal as hell, that was amongst the most potent, and produced the cleanest and happiest high of any that I can remember.

I never bothered to get back in touch with him. And I thought I was bad. Assuming he's telling the truth, who is this guy? Jason Bourne? Should he have even been telling me this information?

I can't help the feeling that that I've uncovered some conspiracy that was not supposed to be divulged. Does that mean I'm being watched by the NSA (no worries, the NSA is watching EVERYONE); on a side note I hear a low humming sound above me.

It's kind of nice to know that I'm not the only one out there who suffers from chronic TMI. And of course I'm exaggerating a little. It's not the “worst” part of my character. If I was so concerned about sharing too much with people this blog wouldn't exist; and I wouldn't be entertaining several people a week. There are far worse things about me like the fact that once I had to shoot this.....never mind. See you next week. Maybe.

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1 comment:

  1. Firstly, as an Australian, I had no idea we had camels. So if anything, your ramblings are quite informative! haha

    Inn fairness though, I don't often encounter people who over-share, just because I'm personally quite standoffish and intimidating (apparently). But it is a turn off to be causally talking to someone who over-shares when you don't know them well, but I don't mind when people I care about do it, if that makes sense? I guess rambling just has a time and place!