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| Food, Glorious Food! |
I've
always associated the 1st
of May with a holiday. Depending on where you live, you might be
celebrating “May Day” or “Labour Day” a.k.a the slightly more
socialist sounding “International
Workers Day.” For me, the 1st
of May will also be known as the “Fuck
Me!, My Hamster Just Gave Birth Day” or
just “Labour Day”
for short.
Let's start at the beginning. The
point when the Universe was created, the Big Bang. I'm kidding of
course; you should really check out Cosmos: a spacetime odyssey if
you haven't already. It all started with my nieces birthday just over
a month ago. She had just turned 2 years old and her mother/my sister
who I love and respect (even though sometimes she can be a bit
of a numpty) decided to buy a pair of dwarf hamsters for my
niece.
Now I wasn't happy with this because
having a pet is a big responsibility. And as much my as I love my
niece and respect her (even though sometimes she can be a bit
of a numpty), I didn't think hamsters were the most
appropriate gift for a child that age. And I told my sister that. And
as much as she loves me and respects me (even though sometimes
I can be a bit of a numpty), she said “Never mind, she'll
be okay.”
And sure enough, just slightly over a
week later I had the pleasure of adopting the hamsters. And I didn't
mind much since I already have two cats and when I was younger I had
two mice and a hamster. My niece had named one hamster “Hanna”
and since she never got around to naming the second hamster I chose
the name “Sparta.”
Because I'm a manly man and a bit of a
history geek and not a 2 year old girl I named the hamster after the
Greek city-state made up of bare chested warriors (according to the
historically accurate movie 300); plus I was quietly hoping that if
anyone ever asked me what my hamsters name was I would be able to
shout “This is...SPARTA!” (that's a 300 movie
reference...)
It's been a while since I had a
hamster so to get reacquainted with the responsibilities involved
with being a hamster owner I decided to turn to Youtube to look for
some guidance. I quickly realized two thing:
- Based on the amount of videos available, hamsters seem to be a favoured pet of girls. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But next time just to up my manliness credibility I'm thinking of adopting some wolves or maybe a great white shark.
- The cage that was provided was clearly too small, especially for a pair of hamsters. I could buy a bigger cage but those cost quite a bit. Or I could go with the less expensive alternative and make a bin cage.
I actually liked making the bin cage. My hamsters have a lot more room to run around in and making the bin cage was also satisfying for me. I don't think I'll ever move to Alaska and build myself a cabin in the woods but at least I can make a bin cage for hamsters. Plus I already have a beard, which is relevant to me for some strange reason.
It's still a work in progress since
I'm still waiting for the hamster stuff that I ordered from
Amazon.com to arrive e.g. silent spinners, igloos, chew toys etc. And
that's all I had to look forward to; the hamsters were not biting my
hand as much when I fed them and my cats seemed to really enjoy their
company.
But as I already mentioned at the
start of this post, on the 1st of May I opened the bin
cage to clean it and I'm staring down at a small pink newborn
hamster. And then I found all the other small pink newborn hamsters.
About four in total.
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| Aww..that's so..cute? |
Well, I was not prepared for this
revelation. This will be the closest feeling I have to a parent who
just found out their teenager is pregnant; unless of course I get
married, have a child or children (I want to have options) and then
have a teenager who tell me that they're pregnant or they got someone
pregnant. Remember kids always be safe, “One night stands may be
over by mornin' but syphilis lasts a last time”; Robert De Niro
said that once in a movie. Which means its true...just like in 300.
Now this was quite a surprise since
according to my sister she had two female hamsters. And so in a less
than happy mood I called her to “discuss” the current situation.
Well, apparently the store kept all their hamsters together and
didn't separate them by their gender. So Hanna might have been
pregnant when she was bought. Or most likely, the employee didn't
really know the difference between a male and female hamster and
randomly picked Sparta who is actually a male hamster.
The
other least likely scenario is that I had somehow upset this person
in the past and he came up with a brilliant plan of getting a job at
a pet store and waited for the right time for my sister to walk in
and buy a hamster for her daughter. AND
THEN
he purposely
gave
my sister a male and female pair, knowing I would end up with the
hamsters and I would have to deal with the problem. Touché
sir,
your plan worked perfectly...
Thankfully,
there are a lot of forums and websites giving advice so I sort of
know what to do. I still don't know if Sparta is a male or female.
It's really hard to figure out the gender of a dwarf hamster. Right
now, Sparta is in isolation in her/his own cage until I figure things
out. It's not because she/he did anything wrong, Sparta just fits a
certain profile and I want to be safe rather than sorry.
The
good thing is that Hanna knows what she's doing so as long as I don't
stress her too much or accidentally touch the babies, she won't eat
them. Yes, apparently that's a thing that hamsters do. I will
probably have to make a lot more bin cages and probably look for new
homes for them. Or I could just let them out and play with my
cats...relax..I'm kidding of course! Anyway, this is a few days late
but happy Labour Day everyone...
To
the employee at the pet store I have this to say to you:
“I
don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. I can tell you I
don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of
skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that
make me a nightmare for people like you. I will look for you, I will
find you, and I will kill you.”
Again,
that's not one of mine. It's another movie reference; Liam Neeson
from the film Taken with a few changes made.
Here are some links:
